Epiphany

One day... 24 hours. And a lot of thinking. That's all it takes.

I've gone longer... But I didn't think. I didn't know why I should.

I've been having an internal struggle with myself; it's finally over.

And I hate that I was so unsure of myself. I hate that I didn't really know who I was.

I still hate how I find myself confused so easily... I can't do that anymore.

I know who I am; I know what I want. It won't change...

And these 24 hours have been so miserable.

At least now I know.

I have the answers I've been looking for.



The future is determined by us; there is no fate, no predetermined life that we walk. We end up how we choose to. And, I'm not going to end up some broken-down confused person jumping from one dream to the next. I know it won't be easy, but I know what I want. I could care less about the distance, I could care less about the struggles that I occasionally go through to keep it... I wondered if I could live without this feeling, and I know now that I can't. It's not an obsession, it's an addiction; and it's not one that I want to cure... It might be possible, but I don't want to try.

I don't know what my future holds in store for me, but I know what I'm going to try to make it for. And I know there will be many stops along the way, many changes, and many things blocking my path. But I swear to God, every wall that comes up, I will drive straight through it... Even if I'm battered and bruised at the end of the road, I'm going to make it. Because there's nothing else for me to do but try; I'm not the type to give up, or change my mind. I /will/ make it.

And hopefully -- and just maybe it might work out this way, -- this year will be the first start... After October, I have more of a chance to start making it a reality. And I'm anxiously awaiting...


It's only been 7 months this time; but this now makes it a total of 16 roughly. Let's try to set a new record: indefinite. I think we could pull it off, don't you? <3