Epiphany

So now, after last night's dream... I guess it should be called a nightmare, as far as I'm concerned... I'm slowly beginning to realize things. I'm either realizing the truth, or realizing that things are being played off this way, even if it's not the case. Why do I even bother trying to get her back? It's over. I've admitted this over and over. I can't get back with her until she's 18 anyway, and by then, nope. She doesn't have any interest in me. If she did, she would've fought it. She'd still talk to me. She would've talked to me while we were together. She'd still say "I love you" back, even if we're not supposed to talk. It's over. We're done, there's no going back, and I'm nothing to her now. She's probably found someone better... And yeah, I fucking hate it. I want to break so many things right now, including my own limbs, just to see if she even has any sympathy for me... *Sigh.* I feel like crying right now. I don't want to lose her, but there's not a damn thing I can do. I can't go back in time. Why did I even get with her in the first place? Why did I let myself fall for her? Why did I even bother? I knew this was going to happen. I always set myself up for failure. That's why I don't let anybody in... So why? Why did I even try with her? I don't even know anymore. "This is for the best", my ass. It still fucking hurts.