First, a prelude, explaining something:
As far as I can recall, within the past 4 years of my life, I do admit I hardly have many dreams. Those that I do have, I know I've had, but cannot recall all of the details, or at this point, many of the dreams at all. However, I do know that I began tallying the dreams to remember how many were premonitions, and an outstanding amount of them were; Out of my dreams, on average, about 50% of them were premonitions, or, dreams of future events. It's rather unsettling at times, and I'm not exactly sure how that many dreams are even -possible- to be premonitions, but considering I don't have a lot of dreams all the time in the first place, it's not something I generally question. On average, my sleep consists of closing my eyes, and then blacking out for what feels like 10 minutes, and then suddenly I'm awake again, and several hours have actually passed. It's almost as though someone pressed an "Off" button, and then a while later, an "On" button, and I didn't miss a beat during the several hours; I was just shut off, so my brain didn't receive the input that I was asleep, and didn't realize time had passed... Honestly, in a way, this makes sense. I often feel "fake", not like a liar or corrupt or any of that; But like I'm just a shell, and an image, nothing else. Like, my body and mind are real, but that's all that there is to me, that there's really not a "person" living within me, just... A body. "Artificial", if you will, not exactly 'fake'. But nonetheless, as I'm trying to say, at least half of my dreams have come true, but I generally don't realize they did until -after- the event happens. Then it hits me, and I basically experience a sensation of déjà-vu. It's very uneasing...
The reason that matters to me is because, the past 3 nights, I've had an unusual amount of dreams. Like I said, my average sleep is just being switched off for 10 minutes then turned back on, and life starts again... But the past 3 nights, I've had at least 20 dreams that I can recall. I cannot list all the details, as like I said, I'm not good with photographic memory or anything. I'm very close to an amnesiac, despite remembering names, numbers, and faces. To avoid going off-topic yet again, out of those 20 dreams, at least 9 of them, I died, by means of a heart attack. One of the other dreams, I was murdered...brutally... By someone I know... kind of. Let's not go into that. The fact of the matter is, with 9 dreams out of 20 within 3 nights, consisting of a heart attack that I could feel every ounce of pain, -- which mind you, was very overwhelming, to the point that I nearly woke up screaming one time, -- is a little bit uncomforting with the whole "50% of my dreams have been premonitions" thing... Now I'm sure people would read this and think something along the lines of 'Oh, you're just overreacting, it's only a dream'.... Yeah, well, maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. That's why I'm extremely uncomfortable. Especially when I have this cold, icy feeling in my chest, and an unsettling sensation of impending doom. I guess I could just be worrying myself too much.
Really, that's all I had to say in this blog. It's an uncomfortable situation, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I wish I did...
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