But we're in love, and that should be just fine.

I wonder what it takes... How much you have to give and take to be able to work in a relationship. I wish I couldn't break, I wish I could take all kinds of stress and not even be phased... Just so I wouldn't hurt her again. I can't deal with hurting her anymore, I can't do that. I'd rather suffer as a prisoner of war in a Vietnamese war camp than hurt her again... I just can't.

I wish there was something I could do, just... something to make her happy. I wish I could make an impact on her life... Actually show I care, instead of seeming like a selfish asshole. I don't like when I look like something I'm not... I don't want to be the bad guy, I want to be the good guy. I want to be the one she looks to and never has a doubt in her mind... but I'm not.

I want to be the guy who makes the right decisions and makes her giggle at the stupidest things I say. I want to be the one who she looks at with glistening eyes, just begging me to be there by her side... I want her to love me, the way I love her.

I don't think I deserve it. I've fucked up so many times and done so much to hurt her, I really don't deserve it. But there's not a damn thing in the world that means as much to me as she does. I've already lost anything else that ever mattered to me, and she means more than everything I've losted if you were to combine it all... I just can't lose her... but I can't keep hurting her.

I really wish I knew what to do to make her happy again... I wish I had some sort of talent. I wish I could make her a video, or sing her a song, or make a picture that was really cute that she'd love... I wish I could give her something for Christmas, I wish I could be there for her 16th birthday and make it really special... but I can't. I can't do anything for her.

What am I? Just a burden to all those around me? Am I meant to be some little stepping stone for everyone, and fall in love with someone who I keep hurting?.. I'd gladly give up my barely beating heart if she wasn't sick anymore. Please, God, I could care less what you did to me... just make her happy again. Make her healthy, happy, give her whatever she wants... even if I get nothing, I'm okay with that...

She deserves a perfect life... I'd gladly sacrifice myself for that.

I love her too much to let her have anything less...