I used to be very doubtful. Very insecure, very unsure of everything around me.
I didn't believe a thing, because everyone didn't give me a reason to believe. And without a reason, what is there? There's really nothing...
But as time passed, and things changes, I began to become a different person... A /very/ different person.
When I was just a baby, even until I was 3, I was a rather obedient and respectful child; Supposedly very easy to take care of, according to both of my parents, which is unlike most kids.
But then it changed, and for a long time, especially when I was in public school, I was severely stubborn and disobedient. I was a rebel of every form, and even (regretfully) had slammed a door on my mom's hand and kicked my dad before. I was /not/ very easy to take care of during those years, and got into a lot of trouble, even being suspended from school at least once in every grade. Nearly expelled in 3rd I believe.
Finally, I was pulled out of school, and homeschooled from half-way through 5th grade and on. I did 6th and 7th grade in one year, 8th in another, then 9th and 10th in the last year. By the time I was 12, I had finished all my work already, and was done with school. No, I didn't do 11th or 12th; I reviewed them, and we had noticed it was a combination of everything you've already done in 9th and 10th, and far more advanced topics that you will /never/ need in daily life or even in most jobs. And I had flown past all the other grades, so there really wasn't any need for me to study something I'd probably already know anyway.
Since I was 12, I began maturing at a somewhat slow rate. I'd started dating online, and gone through at least 8 relationships, most of which I don't exactly regret, but I don't look back at them. They're in my past, and I don't think about it anymore. I have better things to do than review or dwell.
I'd made many mistakes, and gone through several different acts. About the time I turned 14, until I turned 16 almost, was the roughest time in my life. While I was 14, I was pretty much a severe asshole to almost everyone around me, and not agreeable about any topic. I would fight for my own beliefs, and my beliefs was that my life sucked and I was as miserable as humanly possible without needing a reason. When I was 15, I began to grow out of the phase, but it took a good bit of time. I still made many mistakes and hurt a lot of people around me, and I regret that the one I hurt most is the one who matters the most to me.
And now, I've been 16 for 11 months and 28 days (since it's 1:07 AM here)... I've still made some mistakes, but that's part of life. I've learned from each of my mistakes and never repeat them anymore. I'm far more mature than I ever had expected to be. When I was younger, and talked about what I wanted to do when I grew up, I was picturing an age of 23-24. Not 16-17... But even if I'm 7 years earlier than I planned on, I already know what I'm aiming for... And I have so many different aims that I'm not doubtful at all of my future. If one thing doesn't work out, I have many back-up plans. But I intend on pursuing ALL of my dreams, not just one. And I will succeed, don't test me on that one; I'm stubborn as fuck still...
But the one dream that I don't doubt at all, the one dream that I'm pursuing first and foremost, and will fight for my whole life, even if I shove all the other dreams aside... I'm going to be with her. I'm going to ask her to marry me, we are going to live together, and eventually we'll have our own family (in the future, not any time soon). I'll make sure our wedding is as beautiful as she is, and that's the most important thing to me, is her. If nothing else, all I want to be, is with her.
That's why I've matured... I have a reason.
And my reason, is Andra-Leigh. <3
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