So my birthday's coming up. :3 What's everyone getting me?
I'm totally kidding if you didn't know. ... Not about my birthday, but about anyone getting me anything. Lmao. 90% of you are so far away from me and hardly know me anyway. xP
But yeah. My birthday's like, 3 weeks away.
Best friend's birthday is a week from now, and I'm so hanging out with him this weekend, that's for sure.
And, to note? I've been doing so much research about things, and I realized. Despite the fact my Dad supposedly built my computer from the best parts he could get, he did a pretty pathetic job. Sure, I got a Pentium IV 2.88 GHz processor, that's pretty awesome. But 1 GB of memory is better than what I had before; I need 2 GB though. And my sound card? Unbelievably awful. This card was made in the 90's. Come on... My video card? Doesn't even support Pixel Shader 2.0. I need a card that supports Pixel Shader 3.0... And my hard drive, sure, 80 GB seems like a lot. But when you're a gamer, and download movies, and music, that space runs down really fast. I've been having to back stuff up onto a second 40 gb hard drive, and numerous DVD's, in order to have any space...
And, here's the best part. My birthday's coming up, he got my mom a laptop for absolutely no reason. Sure, it was one he's had for a while, and I'm not upset about her getting a laptop, she really needs one more than I do. But I /doubt/ he'll get me anything, at all. I think the only reason he gave her the laptop in the first place was because he owed her something, money or whatever, and hoped that would get him out of it. >_>;;
My mom now has lost her job, so the bass guitar I was originally going to get is on hold. I'm not really upset by that; And I'm not even just saying that, I'm really not. I kept saying "Something's gonna come up", not doubting it, but getting that feeling. And I'm glad I did, just because it didn't really upset me or make me disappointed when it happened. I just shrugged it off and decided to be patient.
So practically the only people who can get me anything, are my dad (who won't); my grandmother, sister, and brother (who I bet won't either, nothing against them, but they didn't even ACKNOWLEDGE my birthday last year, not even merely saying "Happy birthday", nothing at all); my grandmother, uncle, aunt, another uncle, cousin, another aunt, and all that up in Jefferson (who also probably won't, for religious reasons, and that's okay with me honestly, I'm perfectly understanding of that)... My best friend, whom I'm honestly not expecting anything from (not being disrespectful, I'm just learning not to expect anything at all from anyone, just getting by on my own)... All my other friends (again, same thing as with my best friend, not expecting anything)...
It's kind of ironic that the first time I ever notice my birthday's coming up, and actually care, that everything sorta seems so gloomy. I guess it's because my birthday last year was total shit, except for Andra cheering me up despite the fact I was crying for almost an hour straight on the phone with her. =/ Especially because my grandmother, brother, and sister went up to visit someone on that very day, didn't say a word to me about it or acknowledge my birthday, and I ended up finding a birthday card I'd gotten from my brother the year before when we got along oh-so-well, and yet that year, I was treated like total shit.
Actually, I wonder. If one is treated in a specific way, does that influence how he treats other people? Because, though I'll never have an excuse for how I treated Andra in the years past, I'm wondering if how much everyone else bitched at me and mistreated me had anything to do with that. =/
Amazing how this long bulletin, which should be a blog, went from happy and random about my birthday, to depressing and bitchy about my last birthday... And the best part was, my last birthday was my 16th birthday, which normally for girls, is a spectacular birthday. I guess for guys, it's supposed to be complete shit. :] Ain't that nice.
First time using "ain't" in a long time. I should embrace being southern. ... Fuck that, there's not a chance in hell of me embracing that. ♥
At least if my birthday is still total shit this year too, I can always call Andra and talk all day on the phone like last year... Hopefully if I end up crying again, she won't be too busy with YouTube or games or something like that.
No comments:
Post a Comment